There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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