your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Come share oat with me in your robe
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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