wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
