Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
