She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
