i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
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