I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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