how can u be prego again
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
