i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
