Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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