Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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