May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
