we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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