Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
