She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
