i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
