Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
