You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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