Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
bring money and cleavage
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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