how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
