I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
