i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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