i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
