is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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