we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
