my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
