it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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