I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
