on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
