Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
