just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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