but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
