I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Two words: nipple clamps
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