i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
