So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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