the condom got lost in my hair
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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