Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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