4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
