there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
