Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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