I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
