used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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