Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
