so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
