I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
