oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
