the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize