She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
This can only be settled by a dance off.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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