somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
