I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Well I just put wine in my tea
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
